driving rules
9:11 p.m. - 10.08.03
Holy crap! more than half of my favorites list hasn't updated in DAYS...
the lazy bastards..... for those of you who have, allow me to send my utmost respect as you're better than I am at this stuff...
as for me, well, my excuse of course is the NeoNina.. (yes, I went there - forgive me)... she's finally in my possession and we've been having a grand time cruising down the streets and local parks blaring our music.
Granted, its not the greatest sound system, BUT when your car is bright yellow, your optical senses take heed over all others...
.. or so goes my theory.
The BestFriend found it particularly entertaining to sit in the passenger seat today....
Mainly because behind the wheel, I become the Bean at 100%.
Bean rule #1: If youre driving a beat up old hoopty and you make the attempt at cutting me off....... you should be prepared for humiliation....
humiliation from either having to watch me speed off or having to put your car back together when your piece of shit falls apart trying to go a mere 50 miles per hour.
Which isn't meant as a boast for my precious car as it is pretty standard as far as speed goes.... but if your car can barely manage running 35 miles per hour...... simply sit back and accept the fact...
... I do believe the only exception to this rule is if you're an attractive male, or a senior citizen.
which pretty much brings us onto Bean Road Rule #2- you don't f*ck with the elderly...
Mainly because I was always taught to respect my elders - but also because they can be the scariest S.O.B's out on those roads... you just dont f*ck with the elders.
Bean rule #3- when on the road, ignorant female drivers are referred to as "assholes" while ignorant male drivers are referred to as "bitches".
I find the role reversing name calling quite tickling to my funny bone.
Bean rule #4- when bumpin to your tunes, be aware of your surrounding neighborhoods and the impression you desire to give off.
If I'm in the heart of the ghetto, representing 50 cent will give me mad props.
If I'm in the middle of whitetown, representing 50 cent will give me snubbed noses while representing Disturbed or Korn will for some strange reason drop the jaws as I'm told the surprise comes first from seeing a female behind the wheel and second, for seeing a hispanic female.
Impressions..... in the ideal world, they shouldn't matter... but those of us in reality know they always will.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to spend a little time with the parents as they haven't seen me for more than an hour over the past two days...