redemption
3:07 p.m. - 10.11.03
thats right baby... I'm updating on a semi-regular now ....
.. not because I have anything worthwhile to say... simply because I have nothing worthwhile to do...
Actually thats not entirely the case...
I could clean my room...
I could clean my self...
I could do laundry....
I could work out.....
.. and yet... here I be d*land.. at your mercy....
I guess i'd be lying if I said I didn't have anything to write about....
I could tell you how I met up with the ExBoyfriend Saturday morning..... how he took the money I owed him, forced himself to converse for roughly 6.3 minutes before excusing himself as he had other things to do....
... shit baby I'm giving you $500! The least you could do is take my ass out to brunch and/or a movie....
.. granted, its a mere 500 of the 2500 I owe, but anyone who knows the Bean will tell you that taking such amounts of her money is like breaking her heart into a million pieces....
... but alas, he simply took the money and left asking only when his next payment would be....
... if nothing else I'm sure the neighbors are now locking their doors as they see a strange man walking out of my door asking "So when can I get the rest of the money?"...
.. followed by my slovenly, weary, blood shot eyed self explaining it will be a while because I dont have the money...
and because I felt bitter after losing such money, I decided to call GameBoy in search of some consoling....
... and before you let that "bean your such a slut, when are you going to start getting some self respect and learn that friends with benefits never works?" sigh... well let me just tell you that I did manage to catch the "True Life: I have a friends with benefits" special on MTV last thursday....
.. and I learned.....
.. I learned that humans are stupid ass individuals....
... oh and friends with benefits hardly ever works out....
...but I called the boy anyway...
.. and then proceeded to push him away after advances were made.
Now, don't get me wrong -- my intentions were clear from the start... we've had the "No more sex" discussion and for me to call a friend and hang out with them should be perfectly fine....
.. and it was... until of course his hands began to wander and his lips found themselves entirely over mine...
.. which would be about the time Bean realized she didn't want to have sex with him....
the idea seemed revolting as it was just three days before in which he appeared at work with a hickey on his neck from another woman....
.. some other woman who had just been all over him... and I was expected to give in to this man??
... right.
alas, he cooled down, we took a small nap and I was back home by 7pm...
... feeling very much redeemed...
the fact that hes since then kept his distance from me has me thinking I did him wrong...
.. yet the fact that I ensured he no longer has the upper hand has me thinking I did myself right....
... redemption... it does a body, mind and soul ... good.