walking oxymoron

2019 you're a mess!
02.23.19 - 12:21 PM

I know, I know... how dare I leave you on the cliffhanger of my toilet paper problem.

You've all been wondering did Bean enter 2019 with a clean ass? Did she wash her hands after using that frail 1 ply? Did she leave her husband after he bought the single ply AGAIN?

Let me keep it real simple for you and say the answer is no.... and thats all I have to say on those matters.

Im here for 2019, I'm alive, my ass is fine and I am still married to the kindest most patient man on earth.

Thus far, almost 3 months into the new year things are not too great.

As much as I complain and as much as I am a bit of a sarcastic b*tch, I have always had that magical sense of newness on January 1st and it is a little disappointing this is the first year where I felt none of it.

Not that I believe January 1st sets the precedent on what the year will be like but damn if it doesnt seem to be feeling that way right about now.

Between the start of despising my boss, thinking of leaving my job, and losing another member of the family at the end of January I am starting to unravel.

Obviously the death in the family is at the core of my feelings but the circumstances behind the entire situation has made things so much rougher. A story I do plan on also getting off my chest soon -- just not today.

Tragedy like that seems to make your other problems insignificant enough to just blow off yet amplifies your emotions enough to be like a ticking time bomb...

Which ultimately leave me at a crossroads.... am I in a proper state of mind to decide when enough is enough at my job?

It's bad enough I feel like an anxiety ridden crazy old lady on my best days, but to do so knowing that powerful mostly negative) emotions may be altering your perspective on other life issues is just an entirely new maze to configure.

I'd really like to go back to the day where all I was complaining about was 1 ply toilet paper please.

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